Monday, July 13, 2009

Summertime is fleeting....

It's been a whirlwind of a summer and I feel like it is flying by at warp speed!!! Being in a long distance relationship had its perks but it had its downfalls too just like everything else in life....

I feel like I am always living out of my suitcase, even when I am home, I am never quite unpacked completely. I told my sweetheart this past weekend that we are going to have to schedule our time more wisely in the next few months, I need to be home with my kids too and don't want them to feel neglected! Its not cheap to be a road warrior like we have been and if we are to get ahead, we will have to sacrifice time together ~ Couples in the military do it all the time and don't have the freedom to just hop in a car and drive to see their loved one, we just need to be smart about it too! It sucks to be practical but somebody has to do it!

Savanna had been with her Dad since the end of June and when I got her back from her Dad's last night, she was having a tough time of it....I cannot imagine how hard it must be for her to get switched around like this! It is one of the many elements of divorce that is so very unpleasant. Her Father & I are the most opposite people (sometimes opposites attract for ALL the wrong reasons!) and she is literally going back and forth between two worlds! I hope and pray for her sake that she survives this and ends up ok...

So many things to do and it seems like there is never enough time but we still manage to get things done ~ the important things that is....

I am going to make a move that will bring a really big change in our lives hopefully by the end of this year and it is scary and exciting all at the same time. Its a BIG step for Frankie and I and the kids too...I feel like we are going into this with our eyes wide open and we do preventative stuff as we can, pre marital questionnaires are something we do to get to know each other better... I know that since we both suffered tremendously within our previous marriages that we are both determined to make this work, we know we can and are willing to do what it takes.

There is no 'Magic 8 Ball' to lead the way, just two people with prayerful hearts and the sincerity to do it right this time! I feel like we were meant to share this life with each other and feel blessed way beyond anything I ever deserved!

I am still struggling with the healing of my foot, it has really changed every aspect of my life completely and I am still trying to learn how to accept the limitations I now have due to my physical condition. Looking for employment is even difficult because I am not sure what I am capable of and don't want to get into something that I cannot handle. I am trusting that I will make the right choices for everyone involved and I know that I am a tough cookie and I will survive as I always have!

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