Wearing my 'Big Girl' Panties!!

Life is such a busy thing huh?? I feel like I have not slowed down since I got back on my feet last November!! Problem is, I have been soo very busy that when I have a moment, or a day with down time, I tend to sleep the day away knowing how much my body appreciates the rest....this leads me to the disorganization of my house ~ The Thanksgiving / Christmas decorations are still not put away properly!! I was very focused on work, home and kids until I fell in love last summer and that changed everything, even my priorities a bit... My house is in more of a disarray as I am traveling more so I am not home to take care of it like I used to... My son Garrett is awesome and helps out tremendously!

My sweetheart and I are in limbo of sorts.. we HATE being apart, but with the economy like it is we cannot even consider changing jobs much less our geographical location...school is still in session until early June so we are taking it as it comes... cherishing every moment we have together on our honeymoons...#27 was yet another AMAZING weekend together ~♥~

I have been putting all of our photos in an album and we have one FULL already!! I don't think I had this many photos of my ex-factors in years of marriage... We both enjoy the camera and document our time together with lots of fun!! Its almost like if I don't get them in an album now they will stay in the packages like Savanna's baby pictures still are.. I feel soo very guilty, Garrett has an awesome baby book, journal and lots of photo albums and Savanna has a half completed book and no journal and the photos still need to be put in albums... that's the way it goes with the 2nd child...

Savanna is growing up soo rapidly!!! She is all of a sudden 'girlie' with her hair and make up and clothes and even has a crush on a boy!!! Slow down my little princess!! I am not ready for her to grow up yet...

Garrett is trudging thru the last high school credit in his classes...He chose to finish school at an alternative school instead of traditional high school and I just wish for him that it was easier.. I am not prejudice at ALL and have raised my children to not see color where people are concerned but he is the ONLY white kid at the morning session of these classes and I know its not a great environment for him, bad spirits & all! He is going to check out the local community college and I am praying that there will be another option for him that is better than what he is dealing with every day...

My hair is growing long again... I am always ready to cut it off at this point b/c it does not hold the curl for a 2nd day and I HATE putting lots of product in my hair.. My hair was 'stick' straight all my life until after I had my daughter.. then my body chemistry changed and the white hair grew in and it was curly as could be!! I have learned to deal with it and having high maintenance hair is NOT my thing... but I do have beautiful hair so for that I am grateful... now I just have to decide if I am going to go see Pete and let him do his magic or not! I LOVE ALL things GIRLY!!

Work life is crazier than ever! 'Tweety Bird' is just that, and screws things up more than she helps out but I am not the one paying her soo.... I just have to let it go!!

I caused some drama of my own the weekend before this last one (not really intentionally but non the less I could have refrained) Now I just have to deal with the aftermath and see what is clear after the dust settles!! I am reading a book about 'Mean Girls all grown up' and it has been most enlightening!! I try to practice the Golden Rule on a daily basis and its amazing to me how many people are just out for themselves without a care in the world for those around them... I wish sometimes I could give the world just a little therapy... everyone would benefit :) and the world would be a happier place because people would realize how important it is to learn self love... then everything else falls into place! Dream on Sarah........

I Love My Blog and miss it when I don't have more time in my days / weeks to unload all the CRAZI thoughts racing through my head.. I still journal at night when I cannot sleep.. Good thing I don't have Internet @ home right now.. I may never get to sleep! I am comfortable wearing my BIG GIRL Panties, how about you?????

Honeymoon Weekends...

I am CRAZI ♥♥ in LOVE with my sweetheart!! He was here for our 17th honeymoon celebration this weekend and it was awesome!! I feel so very lucky to have a man in my life who really loves me for ME!! Its been a long time coming, I feel like we have come full circle since our days as High School sweethearts in West Columbia SC ~ I have been getting back in touch with classmates on Facebook and MySpace ~ its been fun to see how everyone is doing 20 years later :) I feel so blessed to be living this fairytale with my Prince Charming!

We call the time we have our "Honeymoon Weekends" ~ living apart is hard so we cherish the moments we have together ~ I literally don't want to be disturbed when I am with him ~ I feel like I need a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on my life! Crazy as it sounds but when you only have limited time with the one you love you want to make the most of it! We have both been married before so we are more focused on a healthy relationship for us...We don't need to make it official by getting married to prove that our love is true, I think people should be married in their hearts first then the rest comes easy. This Thanksgiving Holiday will be our first together with family and friends, I am happy to finally have someone special to share the Holidays with, it sure beats being alone again...

My BFF's & A Quiet Day :)

I borrowed my BFF Chris' laptop today so as not to die of boredom at the house by myself ~ I could have come up with many other things to occupy my time but this has to be my favorite! Surfing the net, reading blogs from all over the world, I laughed out loud and cried tears of sadness and joy this afternoon. I had few house chores to do today, my other BFF Melanie will be over tomorrow to help me with the stuff I could not get to myself & we will watch Football Baby!!

The 2 people pictured in this blog are most important to me next to my family...The kind of friends who will always be there ~ we are permanent fixtures in each others lives and I cannot imagine life without them in it! I had a few beers with Chris last night before he took me home from work, we always have great conversation, I think that's what got our whole friendship started to begin with...We went down memory lane a bit, chuckled at how we actually met ( a story for another day) and rejoiced in each others personal growth. He told me he sees the same person but a very changed Sarah which made me feel very good about the progress I have made in the last 6 years. I told him his integrity has always inspired me to be a better person ~ to be impeccable with my word is such a challenge ~ MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND SAY WHAT YOU MEAN ~ Easy to say but not so easy for me to do, but I work on it daily. Therapy was a key part in my re-birth after I left my second marriage. Along with prescribed medication for chemical imbalance/depression the therapy was necessary and I was blessed beyond measure that I got an awesome therapist the first time. Keri Bozzo, if I could ever find her to say Thank You ~ she helped me learn how to change my old patterns / habits and got me on the right track and I will be forever grateful to her for what she helped me with 8 years ago.

Melanie and I were instant friends when we met over 11 years ago and she has weathered the storms of life with me over and over & I with her, but that's what its all about right? I am lucky to have a guy BFF and a gal BFF :) We are all friends with each other and get together to hang out when our busy lives give us a chance. Since the accident I have had to lean on my friends more than ever and they have not disappointed me. Mel picks me up for work every morning until I can drive again, I am going to miss our visits when I don't need a ride anymore. We are all in this game of life together ~ the more support we give each other the better and easier it tends to be as opposed to going it alone without the love and understanding of a Best Friend Forever and I am lucky enough to have 2!!!

I had an alone day and it was blissful!! Its been a long time since I had the house to myself with no one to make any demands on me for any thing at all. I stayed on the phone eternally catching up with the girlfriends and sisters scattered all over...that can go on all day literally but enjoyable too :) My honey was hunting in the North Carolina woods, we got to chat a few times today ~ I am glad he had a day to himself as well. I grew up in such a big family with stuff going on all the time sooo it took me forever to be comfortable in peace & quiet...I wondered what my therapist meant when she told me to listen to my breathing... HUH?? I didn't know it could get that silent, now I cherish my alone time and days like today when I got to enjoy it almost all day long only engaging in conversation when I wanted to but also doing what I wanted to all day!

I am missing my sweetheart ~ we have to go longer than our usual every other weekend till our next visit but we will make it thru. I have soo much admiration for the military couples who sacrifice so very much couple time and family time for their service to our country for many months at a time, God Bless them all.

I wonder how much will change for us when we possibly take this relationship to the next step... I am happy to have a man who has his own hobbies and interests because I have my own as well and I have gotten used to my alone time... Its scary for both of us but we both know how important we are to each other and I absolutely cannot imagine living my life without him in it either! I was single for 8 years and happy to be that way, I always said I would rather be alone than have another complicated relationship ~ He has never once complicated my life but he has enhanced it greatly and I could not be happier about that.

We are both dealing with our respective ex-factors and I will be glad when everyone involved can just be a grown up about growing up! Its one thing to be playful but quite another to literally never grow up... That's supposed to be cliche' people!! No one WANTS to grow up but at some point it helps if you have your 'BIG BOY PANTS' or 'BIG GIRL PANTIES' on...otherwise its just downright annoying! and that's how I really feel.

I will not Blog on Sundays ~ I feel I need to make a rule for myself, give myself some boundaries so it doesn't get out of hand ~ I will still write in my journals just not as much as I used to...this is much more fun!