Thursday, November 6, 2008

Weight Loss, Head Lice & Long Distance

So I am in the shower this morning and realizing I have lost weight because I can reach spots on my back more easily etc... but whats up with the way I still see myself in the mirror?? I have lost 54 pounds in the last 4 to 5 years and am very proud of myself for doing it the right way, slowly and due to a lifestyle /eating habit change but I look in the mirror and still see the FAT Sarah I always saw.... when will I see the Sarah others see when they ask me if I am still eating or not? They can tell and so can my man... Even since May when we met again ~ I was still in the 150+ lb. range then and now I am at least 15 lbs lighter...I just want to feel better about my body image and I know it comes from my thoughts and negative talk inside my own head. I am blessed to have a man in love with me who is crazy about me and loves me just as I am, he didn't even see why I wanted to lose any weight when he met me, I did it for me :) Its sad that even with a victory such as this in my own personal life I still struggle with the image of it all...In time it will get better b/c I am determined to make it so!! The picture is from my 37th birthday March 2007... I have come a long way baby and she is soo much taller now too!!
So yesterday the school calls me to tell me Savanna has head lice... she had to miss her concert rehearsal for the afternoon and be picked up from school... WTF!!!!!!! This is of course something every mother of a school age child has to deal with at some point or another but why??!! and with only one good hand to work with I was screwed!! Her dad and I don't get along very well most of the time and he of course blamed me right away. I asked him to get the treatment and just work with me on this one so she doesn't have to be traumatized any more than necessary. For once... he agreed... Our marriage was controlled by him and once I got the divorce he has tried to control anything else he can which means Savanna ~ he cannot control me any longer and it kills him!! Anyway... I treated her head...combed it for hours and then braided it to keep the tangles away... what great physical therapy for my hand and it sure was screaming in pain too!! I was remembering all the times I had to treat Garrett when he was younger...its not discriminatory, hits every socioeconomic level of society and the little suckers are hard to get rid of but I think we accomplished our mission last night!! sooo tonight is her concert and she will be there with no lice, her dad made the nice offer to let me have a ride to the school with them this evening and I accepted :) We have to try to get along or at least give the appearance of it for her sake right? The divorce has been hard on her for too long and she has suffered too much as it is... I hope we can move forward continually and I will do it prayerfully as well...I need to pray for him instead of curse at him, I believe its the better way to go :)
Getting back into the swing of things at work has been slow.... slow enough for me to have the time to do all of this messing around on the computer but I am happy to have the down time to get re adjusted too. Getting back into a 'normal routine' feels better every day :) I cooked dinner last weekend for my Honey and it felt soo very good to be able to do so!! Being apart from him is hard ~ We are dealing with it the best we can... He is going to be a little closer geographically next month when he starts a job in Columbia SC that will last 6 months... we will then only have to travel a 4 hour trip to see each other, or meet in Savannah GA ~ 2 hours for each of us =) Tybee Island has a special place in our hearts... We met there a few times over the summer and made some unforgettable memories...We plan to be there to celebrate the New Year together and we are looking forward to it!!

1 comment:

Nili said...

Head Lice...YUCK...just makes my skin crawl....I am however glad that the EX-factor found it with-in to help you out for Savanna's sake...I'm glad for you that you are back at work...JUST TAKE IT EASY and SLOW!!! i like Gman's tattoo is he going to get it colored in? You are doing Awesome!!!! Hi to your love and the kiddos from me!